5 Things We Should All Stop Doing

Sigh.  I miss the good old days.  When we could leave our cell phones, our (un)social media, and our myriad of electronic devices at home without going into a total panic.  I mean, we could actually spend an entire day having conversations with actual people and needed to have pocket change if we wanted to engage in non-face-to-face interactions.

But no.  Not today.  Today we have the opinions of every idiot, smart person, and ‘expert’ being constantly downloaded into our spirit.  We pretend as if continuously being fed the opinions and images of others won’t hurt us, but that in itself is a dangerous assumption.

And no one has change.  Ever.

It’s no different when it comes to dating.  We listen to our hearts, our thoughts, our friends, our family, our Instagram feeds with their #relationshipgoals, Google, our *ahem* baby making organs, and possibly even these blog posts.

Allowing these things to influence my decisions in the past (and also the present) has only crowded out God’s best for me.  And possibly yours too.  So here’s a list of the top five things I’ve lended an ear to that I think it’s time we give the boot.  A “Don’t Do This” sort of list, if you will:

Curious?  Continue reading on Modern Ruth Project!

Unexpected Conversations

Loves Jesus? Check.

Respectful? Check.

Good breath? Mostly.

Has a sense of humor? Uh, something like it.

Six feet tall? No, he’s precisely 1.7 millimeters taller than you.

Makes six figures? Well, not exactly.

Owns a home? The way his life is set up right now.…

Wait wait wait, Jesus.  I think you got my order wrong.  Maybe you misheard my prayers?  Because I was very specific and I was sure that the man of my dreams would line up with your will.

No, I heard you.  And I know what you desire and what you think you want.  But more than that, I know exactly what you need. 

Continue reading on Modern Ruth Project!

True Intimacy

Have you ever seen those incredibly talented make up artists who can transform themselves into a totally different person with some bomb contouring and eye shadow?  Well, I am not that person.  I can barely color inside the lines with my lipstick.  And I didn’t even know contouring was a thing until I was in my 30’s.

Now regardless of your skill level or how you feel about make up in general, the stuff is basically magic.  I mean, I once saw a woman turn herself into Nicki Minaj.  And in case you’re wondering, she looked nothing like Nicki Minaj in real non-make up life.

On the other hand, there are also millions of YouTube videos for make up dummies like myself.  Tutorials to help you enhance your beauty without going overboard. Or how to create a date night look that doesn’t resemble a Crayola massacre on your face.

And if you really think about it, intimacy can be the same way. It can transform said relationship into something much different than its initial intentions. Or it can enhance what God has already created, but at the right time and in the right context.

For those of you who aren’t following, here’s an example.  You’ve been seeing this guy and you’re getting the hunch that he’s really a creep. But since there are no other prospects or even men looking your way, you decide to take things to the next level out of boredom and desperation. Whether that means kissing, sex, or the whole ‘everything but sex, technically still celibate’ category, you know you’ve crossed a line.

And once that line is crossed, this man’s character and attractiveness levels up from Gollum of Lord of the Rings to Great Gatsby Leo Dicaprio.

Continue reading on Modern Ruth Project!

You are worth being single

Everyone I know on earth: “So.  How’s it going?  Are you dating anyone?”

Still single me: Sigh….”No, I’m not dating anyone at the moment.  Yes, I’m still single.  No, there are not prospects in the foreseeable future or the requisite 15 mile radius.  And, yes, I’m fine.”

Them: -_-

Me: “No, really.  I’m happy and content on most days with being single.  Why?  Do you know someone?”

Them: “Oh, goodness no.  You don’t want to date any of my friends!  They’re so (fill in the blank with some incredibly strange or terrible character flaw)!”

Me thinking inwardly to myself: Why do you have friends like that?

Does this conversation sound familiar?  I know I’m not the only one who feels like I’m constantly defending my singleness on a daily basis.

Keep reading here on Modern Ruth Project!

You are what you fear.

I was sitting at home, casually perusing through Facebook when I noticed a pattern on my feed.  All of my friends were posting photos of their date nights, snaps with their husbands for a night on the town, and those strange mirror selfies while getting dressed up for dinner.

My first thought was “Seriously?  Why are all of these people going out on a weeknight? Ugh!  Don’t they have to work tomorrow?  It’s after 9:00 for goodness sake!”

Me second thought after realizing it was Friday, and therefore perfectly acceptable to do such things past 9:00pm was “Wow. You’re getting old.  You should get out more.”  This thought was quickly forgotten as it was almost my bedtime.

My third thought?  Fear.  Absolute fear.  About what, you ask?  I’ll let you take a guess.  Better yet, maybe you can just answer yourself.  When it comes to your singleness, what’s the biggest fear that you have?  The biggest fear that most of us have?

That we’ll die alone, never having known the pursuit of a godly man.  Or even just a sane man with good credit, a solid career, and all of his teeth.

Continue reading this post on Modern Ruth Project…

And so it begins…

So today was Monkey’s first day of Kindergarten. I mean, really. Time is flying in the most annoying and awesome way.

Here’s documentation that I’m getting older and so is she:

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As a mom, people never tell you that it would be possible to feel multiple simultaneous emotions all at the same time at any given moment regarding the same person.  For instance, this morning dropping her off at school, I felt both excited and scared. Relieved and terrified. A little sad and incredibly proud.

And also…..wanting to choke her for not brushing her teeth when I asked and in awe of how cute she was in her uniform. Or irritated at her snails pace of getting ready while also admiring her laid back approach to everything life. I envy that.

But when all was said and done, the only thing that was a constant during all of this, and has remained since I embarked on this journey…is an overwhelming sense of peace.

Peace that I made the right decision. Peace that I am walking in God’s will. Peace that I am doing the right thing for myself and for Monkey. And peace that I will not fail.

And not surprisingly, a lot of folks have been asking what in the world made me do something like this in the first place. The questions have been non-stop. And understandably so. Some out of concern, some out of curiosity. But, regardless of the motives they always understand completely in the end.

I’ve explained these reasons in previous posts, but never explained where and how this incredibly insane thought originated in the first place. I’ve presented my experience in numbered list format, because apparently people like lists. So here you go:

1) I was praying in my prayer closet. Yes, I actually have a closet that I go into to pray. I write prayers on the wall. I talk with my Father. I listen. I cry. I cry out. I smile. I complain. I repent. I express gratitude. And so on and so forth. If you are a mom, or a human, I recommend you get one. It is the only place on planet Earth where I can meet Him face to face without distractions.

2) I was praying about something completely unrelated to homeschool. Possibly sprinkles and unicorns. Or maybe it was bacon and doughnuts. I hear there’s an impending shortage.

3) There was a pressing, heavy thought of homeschooling. Not an audible voice.  No thunderbolts and flashes of lightning.

4) I ignored it because….well just because I thought bacon was more important at the moment.

5) I couldn’t get the thought out of my mind for days. At that moment, I knew I was ducking and dodging on purpose. Don’t do that. He’ll just keep pestering you.

6) I researched and Googled because that’s what good millenials do.

7) I found a couple schools and Googled some more.

8) I doubted.

9) I went to some open houses, and felt peace. Overwhelming peace that hasn’t left since.

10) I gave in and decided I didn’t know more than the One who created me. Still not sure why this is so hard for humans.

11) Monkey had her first day of school today and I in no way regret steps 1-10 or doubt God’s hand or his presence in every aspect.

12) I might feel differently about 1-11 after tomorrow because it’s our first actual homeschool day. Yikes.